i had a less than pleasant phonecall with my best friend last night. she rang me and asked if i was still coming out saturday night, when i made it clear to them last week when they brought it up that i wasn’t going. they kept on, ignoring everything i was saying and it was pissing me off. if someone goes on at me to do something i’ll want to do it less and less. so anyway, she kept pushing me for a reason, because apparently the fact that i don’t want to go isn’t good enough. she started saying that they come places with me when i ask, which they don’t. that they’ve been to signings with me, when she hasn’t. tash has been to one. but how can you use that? how can you compare going to meet a group of people that have played a part in changing your life to going on a night out? saying no to one night out isn’t a big deal. no, we don’t see each other much anymore, but we can do something else another time. but the way she was talking i was missing something important. i said that i prefer just hanging out at someones house and talking and stuff (even though there’s never time for anything i wanna talk about. i honestly don’t think they know me much anymore), and she was all ‘well we don’t wanna stay in’ and just generally making me feel like more of a mess than i already feel. and this all seems like nothing, but it was just. it was all totally blown out of proportion. when i hung up i just broke down. i already felt like i was losing them. it’s getting harder to be friends with them, at the moment anyway. and i sound like i’m whining and i hate that, but it’s hard to explain the situation without sounding like a twat. 

this is the ‘right after the call’ version.